5 Signs And How To Deal With Chronic Complainers

Why do we complain?

Complaining is a common trait and externalization of feeling. It’s absolutely normal because we’re annoyed by various things in our lives. We complain to feel better and to express our internal discomfort. But, constantly venting and being stuck in chronic complaining can have an impact on our well-being and is toxic for everyone around us.

What are the signs of a chronic complainer?

Here are some common signs of a chronic complainer that will help you:

1. There aren’t positive people surrounding them

A person who complains each time and has a negative outlook keeps the friends with the same perspective. Such people will not attract positive people. If you want to know whether the person is a chronic complainer or not, look at his surroundings & the company they keep. They are surrounded by Debbie Downers.

2. Focusing on obstacles for way too much

A chronic complainer is always focused on obstacles and barriers in any situation in life. They see every little change as a problem and complain about it. They focus on mistakes and have a negative perspective instead of focusing on the brighter side of the situation.

3. Convinced that they’re being realistic

Chronic complainers don’t consider their complaints as complaining; instead, they declare it is being realistic. Such people keep hitting on critiques of the world around them without thinking logically for once.

4. Everything has to be perfect, and nothing is ever good enough

Chronic complainers consider themselves perfectionists. They see everything other than themselves as not good enough and don’t see any positives. They never agree with anyone else and try to convey to others that they’re perfect through their actions & words. Moreover, it makes them keep a desire to become the best at all times.

5. The “My way or the highway” mentality

A chronic complainer is rarely truly happy about anything as he misses out on seeing the right things. They only get happy when things go their way. Whenever anyone else gives their input, it is not up to their standards. They are focused on finding the wrongs, and it makes it difficult for them to feel true happiness.

How do you deal with a chronic complainer?

You can effectively deal with such people, and by trying the right ways, you can lighten the mood for all. Here are the things you can do to handle complainers.

1. Shift the conversation

This is easier to do. If the complainer keeps complaining about the same subject, it’s helpful to change the subject of conversation. If your neighbour is constantly venting about his new boss, tell him any of your good experiences in the office. The main thing is to shift the conversation to a positive situation and get them off the focus from the complaining subject.

2. Try not to convince them and support them instead

Sometimes, people become complainers when their needs are not met or when they’re struggling with
negativity. They need someone who understands them and hears them. It’s best to listen to them and support them. When they complain, try to listen instead of convincing them to be more positive and stop being negative all the time. This tactic will save you from the argument, and it’d be helpful for their mental health.

3. Help them bring back their positivity

We all know that light casts out the darkness. Some people struggle with their complaining habits and try to get back to positivity. Help and support such people by segueing into healthy solution talk. Listen to their problems and answers. So, suggest positive alternatives that could help them to feel less negative.

4. Have a heart-to-heart session and be honest with them

Another best way to deal with chronic complainers is to be honest with them. When they’re complaining, and you’ve to do some things, tell them to make the conversation short or move on from it instead of making excuses. Moreover, if the complainer is one of your loved ones, have a heart-to-heart session with him. Talk to them about their problems & triggers and help them. It’ll be beneficial for both of you and your relationship with him.

5. If nothing seems to work out, detach from them for your own sake

Lastly, if you try out all the ways to deal with such Debbie Downers, but nothing works out. Time to detach yourself and end the conversation! Sometimes, some chronic complainers are crabby people and hard to get rid of. Everything you do on them drains your own mental wellbeing. For it, try out your best to leave them on their own and let them stay in their negative ambiance.

Also Read: Control Your Emotions With These Steps

If you’re one of them, try to do a complaint cleanse

If you find yourself having the signs mentioned above, it’s time to make a complaint cleanse and see
the things in a different light. It just takes a little dose of optimism and working on your attitude to make a complaint cleanse. Whenever you feel you’re complaining, focus on the things you’re grateful for. Writing down your complaints in a gratitude notebook rather than venting to people is also recommended.

Complaint cleanse will help you shift your focus to a positive mindset and create the conditions for optimism. Also, it will improve the quality of your life and the lives of those around you, as the negativity is not good for you and your loved ones. So, quit complaining and try to make a complaint cleanse!