Category: Grief and Loss

Home How to Deal with Parents Divorce – Divorce is not easy at any stage but dealing with your parents divorcing as a teenager makes life more complicated. You realize that life will be different from now on, and you’ll have to confront a range of new emotions and deal with conflicts between your parents. Several studies, including the one carried out by Ross & Miller in 2009, found that parents divorce can negatively impacts their child’s life regardless their age. And in young adults, this might affect them when they are starting a serious relationship that leads to marriage. If you’re trying to figure out your own life at school, with friends, or in a relationship, while now coping with your parents divorcing, such a situation at your home may only add more stress to your life. But how can you make this transition smoother? Table of Contents 8 ways to deal with parents divorce Luckily, there are some ways to deal with your parents divorce and work through the emotions to move forward. In this article, we’ll explore the ways to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. If you’re dealing with your parents divorce, this guide will help you get through this difficult time and find the silver lining to deal with it. Let’s take a look at these eight important ways. 1. Please don’t blame yourself, it was never your fault When you have to deal with parents divorce, it can be normal to consider it your fault and blame yourself. But, it’s not right. Thinking this way is self-destructive. Blaming yourself won’t help you process at all and move forward. Parents get divorced due to issues between the two: you did not ask for their relationship to end. Therefore, keep in mind that the things you have done did not cause their separation and did not initiate their conflicts. 2. Your feelings are valid, don’t suppress them During your parents’ divorcing period, you might feel various emotions. You may feel angry, sad, or even relieved. The best way to deal with it is to allow yourself to feel your emotions because it’s totally fine to feel them. Don’t keep them bottled up inside. Validating your feelings and experiencing them is essential to your mental health. 3. Be open to your parents If you’re close to your parents and want to keep a healthy relationship with them after their separation, talk to your parents about the situation. Do have an honest & open conversation with them and let them know your feelings and how their divorce is affecting you. You should not be afraid or confused to tell your parents how you feel about splitting. They’ll find a way to make it easier for you. Also, it will help facilitate well-being and empathy for everyone. 4. Set boundaries, you’re not your parents’ messenger nor therapist Adult children of divorcing parents find themselves in the middle of conflicts, but this is not good. Set clear boundaries and don’t take any sides to make it clear that you don’t want to be a back-and-forth messenger. Moreover, your parents may want to tell you their feelings of anger and stories that can be complicated for you. So, you need to explain that you’re not their therapist, and they should unload their feelings to their friends. Setting clear boundaries will tend to be best for your mental health. 5. Reach out to your support system Another significant way to deal with your parents divorce in your 20s is to surround yourself with the people who will be there for you in this difficult transition. Reach out to your support system to protect your mental health. They can be your close friends, family members, or family therapist. Tell them how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Their support can be a healthy way to deal with your emotions during your parents’ divorce. 6. Prepare to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle Your parents divorce will bring changes to your life and family. Therefore, it’s important to accept that changes are coming & they’re permanent. The next step is to prepare for the changes. Start thinking and planning how to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle and how to handle future events flawlessly. 7. Find new ways to deal with stress You’ve never felt as much stress as you felt during your parents divorce. You need to figure out the ways to deal with stress for the sake of your mental & physical health. Find the activities and hobbies that bring you joy to deal with parents divorce. There are a lot of stress management hobbies and activities, including: Journaling Hiking Meditation Hanging out with friends who lift you up Doing puzzles Cooking Playing sports You can adopt any of these stress management techniques to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. 8. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor Lastly, if you are still trying to figure out how to deal with your parents divorce, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. There is no need to deal with your emotions by yourself. Reach out to a therapist & counselor to help you ease your stress & sadness. You can talk with them about your emotions and triggers. It is a huge help that will give you relief and help you makes sense of your parents divorce. Also Read: The Grief Recovery Method Wrapping up There you have it- end of the topic: how to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. It’s really hard to deal with the emotions during dealing with the emotional fallout of your parents’ divorcing. But, things are horrible in the beginning & get better with time, and you’ll see things in a different light. You will realize that divorce is healthier than staying in the worst relationship if your parents don’t love each other. Looking for an online therapist or counselor to help you deal with such a situation? Feel free to reach out to me

Home The Grief Recovery Method – We are all touched by the strong impacts of grief at some point in our life. The grief recovery method is a wonderful evidence-based program that helps people process emotional pain caused by loss. It is a step-by-step action plan that allows the grievers to work through grief, isolation, and loneliness on an individual basis. However, grief is often misunderstood, and the myths about grief make the affected person feel desperate & hopeless and push them towards depression. In this blog post, you’ll understand grief deeply, and learn about 6 common myths about grief and the things you should do to help someone before and during the grieving process. Table of Contents Definition of grief Grief is the strong natural reaction to a significant loss of any kind. It is the conflicting feelings caused by the death of a loved one or the loss of a relationship. Grief is a natural emotion that causes pain that can last a lifetime. Other examples of loss include loss of job, financial and health issues, loss of independence due to a disability, unmet dreams & expectations, and end of addictions. “Time will heal the wounds,” they said. But does it really heal the wounds? This old proverb is not true and gives false illusions to grievers that things will eventually get better. Some people waited many years for their pain to disappear, but these years were still not enough to heal their wounds. Time alone does not heal the wound; what you do with that time helps you work through it and heals the deep pain. Therefore, you need to take specific actions during the healing team, which pushes you toward recovery. What is the grief recovery method? The grief recovery method is a step-by-step, action-oriented program that has been refined over the last 40 years. This is the only evidence-based program to help grievers worldwide recover from the pain and isolation caused by any loss. The Grief Recovery Method is guided by the actions presented in The Grief Recovery Handbook. The book was written by John James and Russell Friedman. The actions of the Grief Recovery Method provide the parameters that begin your healing and let you move forward in a healthy and meaningful way. You can sign up for the Grief Recovery Method program both online and offline. By learning the Grief Recovery Method once from a grief recovery specialist, you can apply this Grief Recovery Method throughout a lifetime of loss. 6 myths of grief Here are the 6 most common myths of grief in our society. Learn about them and focus on the facts. 1. Time will heal Time itself does not heal the wounds. What’s important is the particular steps you take within that time, and these steps help you walk through the pain. 2. Don’t feel bad about it Feeling bad is a natural response to loss. Therefore, saying this to the griever is not helpful. Instead, feeling bad about the loss gives permission to feel the emotions without burying or covering them, which can lead to depression. 3. Grieve alone Many grievers tend to isolate themselves based on the idea that talking about their loss burdens others and worsens pain. As we share our good news with our loved ones, it’s also wise to share bad news or cause of grief with someone. Communicating with others about your emotions will loosen the grip of pain and is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself in this emotional loss. 4. Be strong for other people During the grieving process, we tend to hide our painful emotions to show that it’ll give strength to others. The fact is that you should be honest with your feelings. If you express your true feelings to others, they’ll do the same, and it’ll help you. 5. Just keep busy Grief is not something that will go away by distracting ourselves in activities and keeping busy. By doing so, it will become a cause of physical and emotional exhaustion. Therefore, it is good to go through the pain to heal from the loss and move beyond it. 6. Replace the loss Relationships with our loved ones are irreplaceable. It is impossible to replace the loss by making new friends, getting into a new relationship, or having more children. You’ll not truly heal unless you give yourself space to grieve completely about the loss. Things you should do to someone who’s grieving Here are the things you should do to help someone cope with grief. These practical things can be an absolute comfort to those affected by a loss. Ask them, “What happened?” and don’t just act like nothing happened Communicate with them and ask them what happened & express your concern. Grievers feel alone because other people avoid them, and it can lead them to depression or anxiety. Listen to their story with your heart, not only your head Sometimes, people work through grief by telling their story again and again. So, listen to their story with kindness instead of advising or judging. Say “I can’t imagine how you feel” instead of “I know how you feel” Accept their feelings and let them know it’s okay to express the feelings in front of you. Every person is unique, and you can not understand the intensity of their loss. Therefore, be genuine in your communication, and it won’t offend the griever. Be empathetic and stop telling them that they shouldn’t be feeling that way An empathetic ear is a wonderful thing. Don’t try to say it’s time to move on or that they should not be feeling that way. Understand them and let them heal at the pace that feels right in their manner. Also Read: A Guide to NLP Techniques The bottom line Grief is a normal emotion caused by any loss; recovery from that loss is necessary to move forward and lighten up your life. The grief recovery method is an effective program

Home 10 Ways To Cope With Losing A Loved One – You can be furious, disheartened, or outraged because you didn’t get to say farewell in person or be present after your dear person died. Because their demise was likely unexpected, you may feel bewildered and helpless. Or maybe you’re feeling cut off from your usual social circle, and the funeral ceremony was complicated for you due to any prohibitions that might have been in effect. It’s challenging to cope with losing a loved one at any age. However,  the loss of a loved one amid the coronavirus outbreak will present new problems regardless of whether due to COVID-19 or even other reasons. We will discuss some of the things you may do to cope with losing a loved one in this article. Table of Contents Grief and loss during Covid-19 A recent study on loss and grieving in the COVID-19 outbreak distinguishes between direct and indirect losses. Main losses are usually associated with significant life situations like the death of a family member or the termination of work. Many indirect costs have resulted from global health initiatives to reduce or prevent the spread of COVID-19, including the loss of connections, entertainment, and social support. Most individuals may be mourning their loss of independence or the capacity to interact with individuals so important to them currently. Identify the grief Most individuals are grieving due to the COVID-19 pandemic as per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Many people are struggling to cope with losing a loved one. Moreover, many individuals have different responses to grief. Panic, disbelief, denial, worry, anger, sorrow, sleep deprivation, or hunger loss are prevalent responses to grieving. According to experts, many individuals aren’t even conscious that they’re grieving. So it is essential to give grief a name to help people understand what they are going through. 10 ways to cope with losing a loved one during pandemic You might contemplate attending a funeral or giving condolences to a friend who had recently lost a loved one in pre-quarantine situations. The COVID-19 pandemic has stripped away those options, leaving bereaved individuals to feel more lonely than ever. So here are a few practical methods to help anyone who is struggling to cope with losing a loved one from afar: 1. Understand that the funeral may be different during a pandemic Since COVID-19 entails different funeral protocols, it is essential to address that you might not bid farewell in the best way possible. There have been boundaries on the number of individuals who can participate, and individuals who can come should sit separately, and foodstuff is not allowed on-premise. It’s critical to recognize that these factors are beyond your control. So focusing on the aspects under your power will help you cope with losing a loved one and deal with the grief. This could include asking about a webcast or film of the funeral, setting up a virtual visitor register, or posting notes from those unable to attend. It could entail arranging for a more significant memorial service after the pandemic has ended so that friends and relatives can honor your beloved person. 2. Say goodbye to your loved one in different ways Even if you couldn’t bid farewell personally, you would seek a method to bid farewell to the deceased loved one since it is an essential part of grieving. Locate a peaceful area to be undisturbed and speak your respects at your pace. As though they were physically present, say what you meant to tell them. Since the goodbye is a dialogue, you hold in your soul, the place and how don’t necessarily count. 3. Embrace the grieving process your way Grief is the ground reality of human beings, and everyone experiences it differently. No one can tell you how to feel or how you should express your loss. Grief is a highly personal feeling, so be yourself and try not to be afraid of your emotions in these challenging times. 4. Be patient with the process When you love somebody for so long, it is impossible to forget them instantly. You might be grieving for months or even years with the loss of a family member. So, it is essential to be patient with the process. You will undoubtedly feel okay after some time. 5. Connect with others Distracting your mind from grief by connecting to others can help you. You can talk to your friend or relative about your suffering loss. In other words, it is best to have listening ears and speaking mouths around you so you can cope with losing your loved one. 6. Find a new meaning after the loss Finding meaning in life can be a real challenge after someone’s beloved passes away is essential to find new sunshine in the darkness. Finding a new determination in life after the loss is necessary. You can invest yourself in social work or find any other hobby that lets your mind free from pain. 7. Seek a support system When you’re trying to cope with losing a loved one, family and friends tend to easily be your support system.  Although when you have the attention of your loved ones, sometimes friends and relatives may not understand how to effectively assist you. Communicating your emotions with people who have suffered similar tragedies can make you feel less lonely in that situation. You can learn a lot about coping skills by hearing about other people’s experiences. Call local clinics, funeral directors, or counseling services to discover a support network in your region, or call a bereavement helpline. 8. Seek help from your religion If you’re religious, your religion’s particular grieving rituals might offer consolation and help you connect with those grieving. Visiting religious ceremonies, studying holy books, praying, meditation, or speaking with a spiritual leader can help you find solace and purpose in your deceased family member. 9. Take care of yourself It’s easy to forget about your own health and well-being while trying