Category: Grief and Loss

death of a sibling
Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

The Death of A Sibling: 5 Things To Help You Get Through It

Home The Death of A Sibling – Coping with grief as a result of the death of a sibling is one of the hardest challenges many of us have to endure. Our grief can be intense when a sibling dies, and the world changes quickly for us. The death of a brother or sister is a heart-wrenching and tragic loss, no matter what your age is, because the relationship with a sibling is exceptional. In this article, I’ll discuss why the death of a sibling is an emotional hardest experience, the effects of the loss of a sibling, and how you can cope with the grief of losing a brother or sister. Table of Contents Siblings Are Special Siblings are special: they share countless moments of laughter, lifelong secrets, and plenty of happy & sad memories. Your relationship with your sibling is one of the most special relationships you have. You fight with them, play with them, and even compete with them. Moreover, the bonding between sisters is unmatchable as you’ve shared and experienced a lot of important things together that you’ve not done with any close friend or your spouse and children. Therefore, they play a special role in our families and our hearts. How The Death Of A Sibling Might Affect Your Life Losing a sibling can be a shock. It affects your whole life and your entire family dynamic. When a brother or sister dies, you may experience different kinds of emotions; you feel guilt, anger and abandonment, anxiety, and loneliness. Learning how to live without your brother or sister and with this sense of loss takes time. So, this loss can have multiple effects. A study from 2018 suggests that surviving siblings have to manage the grief of their parents along with their own grief. The grief and changes after the death can lead to increased stress, affecting your mental and physical health. Things To Do When You Are Coping With Losing A Sister Or Brother The death of a sibling can be an overwhelming experience. But life goes on after the loss of some loved one, and you’ve to live with that loss. So if you’re coping with the grief of losing a brother or sister, there are some strategies to find a way through your loss. Here I’ve mentioned five things to do after the death of a sibling. 1.  Talk your feelings out and share the pain with your family members Talking your feelings out releases difficult emotions and helps you navigate through your grief. Share your pain with your loved ones: your family members and close friends. Talking about your grief helps you work through your pain. 2.  Find other ways to say goodbye When a sibling dies, it can be a traumatic experience that can leave you confused and shaken. You did not have a chance to say goodbye to them before death: it is more painful. But you can say goodbye to them in other ways like by writing a letter to them. Write a letter and pen down all the things you want to tell them before their death and bury the letter with them, or you can keep it. 3.  Take care of your mental and physical health Grieving the loss of a sibling can be a winding process, so taking care of your mental and physical health is imperative. Spend time with your loved ones, do things that make you happy, hang out with friends, forgive yourself, take naps, eat nutritious food, and exercise. 4.  Keep a memento to remember them Honor your sibling by finding a way to remember them. Find ways to memorialize your sibling to maintain a connection with them. You can keep their pictures, videos, the jewelry they carry, an old shirt with their scent on it, or anything. Paying tribute to your brother or sister is a therapeutic way to keep their memory alive and express grief. 5.  Meet a therapist or coach if needed Lastly, if you feel that nothing is helping out and the loss is impacting your life, then seek professional help. Meet a therapist or coach who specializes in grief. They’ll help you sort through your feelings and navigate you through the healing process. Also Read: How Long Does Mourning Last? Wrapping Up The death of a sibling is a tremendous loss, and it feels like you have lost a part of your life. As a surviving sibling, you may experience unimaginable pain and ambivalent feelings. It’s OK to feel pain and emotions to heal. The tips mentioned above will help you throughout the grieving process. Besides, support groups, mental health professionals, and coaches are great ways to find support and move forward in your life. If you’re a surviving sibling or you know anyone who lost a sibling, and they’re struggling to deal with it, you can reach out to me online by scheduling a free call with me. As a mental health professional and life coach, I’d love to help you in this grieving process to move towards healing and hope so you can say goodbye to your beloved sibling. Process Your Loss Starting Today With A FREE Discovery Call FREE DISCOVERY CALL

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how to be happy again after a grief
Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

How To Be Happy Again, 10 Steps To Do It

Home To Be Happy Again – You can take steps to feel happy, regardless of whether you’re having a terrible day or struggling with recurrent grief or sadness. This article offers suggestions for boosting happiness, starting with short cheer-ups and moving on to recommendations for dealing with persistent sadness. Keep telling yourself that you can be happy again no matter your circumstances. Additionally, keep in mind that someone, somewhere, cares about you. Table of Contents It ain’t east to be happy again after grieving It is difficult to stay in the “heaviness” of sadness without transitioning to any “lightness.” Indeed, life will not be the same when a loved one passes away, or you lose a job. Certainly, you can recover and learn to live again if you want to. In fact, it’s typically unavoidable. You can get yourself up again and live with a new spirit. Things you need to try to wash away the sadness When something terrible occurs in your life, it could appear as though the world is ending. But you should genuinely embrace your feelings rather than repressing or discarding them—either by diverting yourself or maintaining a decent façade. Feeling all kinds of emotions is vital because they teach you crucial things about yourself and your life. Moreover, instead of criticizing yourself for feeling depressed, try to see this as a chance to develop, learn, and find natural healing. Following are some of the ways to find happiness again! 1. It all starts with you, find a new purpose Keeping your attention on the most valuable elements to you, like your family members, your religion, your job, and many other parts of your life, maintaining a purposeful aim might help you if you’re asking how to be happy. It’s crucial to maintain motivation when times are hard so that you can create and reach both short- and long-term goals. Regardless of how much fame or reputation one may have, many wealthy individuals are unhappy for one primary reason: Our sadness is eventually caused by a sense of meaninglessness. 2. Understand that life won’t always go smoothly   We all know that life is an emotional roller coaster. There will be good days, and there will be bad days as well. If you understand that everything happens for a reason, there will not always be a bed of roses for you. Sometimes you have to walk over thorns as well. Moreover, you should allow the grief process to complete itself. Do not rush. You can’t expect to be completely joyful again until the depth of your sadness lessens. Work through your pain, severe suffering, deep sorrow, ferocious rage, and all other feelings and emotions.  3. Identify what triggers your happiness and sadness   It’s sometimes necessary to identify the sources of your sadness to determine what brings you a smile. Whatever is giving you tension, discomfort, anxiety, or overall misery in your life may be a relation, a profession, a living condition, or any other circumstance. Making decisions about how to go to live a happy life requires understanding what has changed or is causing your discomfort. Decide where to focus your attention and time to attain your desired calm life. Moreover, focus on what aspects of your life you might want to try eliminating or changing. You can develop a simple comparison checklist to find your happiness and sadness triggers.  4. Practice gratitude Gratitude can significantly improve your attitude towards life. Two-part research, for instance, discovered that cultivating thankfulness can significantly affect emotions of optimism and pleasure. Practice saying thank you for one effort at the start of the day. You can carry out this task while washing your hair or simply sitting for your coffee. While going about your day, consider looking for pleasant things in your life. They might be actual occurrences like finding out someone loves you or getting a well-deserved job. They can even be insignificant acts, such as a coworker handing you a beverage of choice or a complete stranger waving to you. You might even improve your perception of all the good things around you with some work. 5. Get out of home, enjoy more sunlight and meet new people According to one research, staying half an hour or more weekly in greenery can help reduce blood pressure and the risk of getting depressed.  Your “green place” can be wherever you can embrace and appreciate nature and breezes, like a playground in your community, garden, or rooftop terrace. Moreover, sunlight can significantly increase your happiness since low vitamin D can lead to depression. And chances are when you are out in parks and gardens, you will meet new people who uplift your spirit. 6. Keep yourself busy by doing positive things you enjoys Unfortunate life events like a loss of a job or a divorce can also be an excellent chance to try new things. Find something you’ve wanted to do for a while but have been putting off doing, and just do it! As long as the change is one you choose and promotes your pleasure, it might be modest or significant. For instance, you might begin preparing for a 5k before moving on to a half marathon and ultimately a full marathon. You will feel better off and more confident if you work out and pursue a goal. If you’ve lost your job, it might be time to look into starting a new, exciting profession. 7. Start journaling A journal is a valuable tool for management, organizing your thoughts, and analyzing your emotions. You need not be a literary genius or prolific writer to gain from this. Simple steps like writing down a few thoughts at night can help. If writing down specific things causes you anxiety, you may always shred it once you’re done. The process is what matters. 8. Try to exercise and meditate regularly Exercise is good for your body and can also enhance self-confidence and happiness by lowering stress, anxiety, and psychological distress. Physical activity of

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

When A Child Losing A Parent To Suicide

Home Losing A Parent To Suicide – The loss of a parent or sudden death is a painful event in one’s life. But losing a parent to suicide makes a child vulnerable to traumatic grieving and more likely to commit suicide. It leads to complex emotions such as anger, regret, guilt, and feelings of abandonment. Losing a parent to suicide has more disturbing effects that trigger the emotionally conflicted process and leave children in a state of mental illness and complicated grief. If you or someone from your family members lost a parent by suicide, I understand your powerful emotions. Therefore, I’ve discussed the crucial things in this article that will help you recover from this grieving process. Let’s start. Table of Contents Losing a parent to suicide affects the children physically and psychologically John Hopkins Children’s Center lead the study, which found that losing a parent by suicide affects children’s mental health and physical health. A sudden parental loss by suicide generates strong feelings of anger, intense frustration, guilt, shame, and horror in children that becomes a huge risk to a child’s mental health. When parents commit suicide, children are likely to struggle with prolonged grief disorder that leads to psychological trauma, major depression, and upsetting emotions. Things that may help you when losing a parent to suicide The grieving process resulting from this huge loss can take months or years. Therefore, it is necessary to process your feelings and take good care of yourself. Here are the things you need to try in this painful period to find some peace and acceptance. 1. It was not your fault Nobody is ever to blame for suicide. Repeating this message is necessary. When a parent commits suicide, children may feel guilty or fear that they contributed to the tragedy. If only I had done what Mom asked me to do, if only I had finished all of my chores, or if only I hadn’t argued with my brothers so much, they might say. Children should be informed that they did nothing wrong. They were not in any way responsible for the suicide. Assure the child that no one is to blame for the suicide. The child had no control over what happened and could not have changed anything. Make sure the child is aware of how much the deceased parent loved them. 2. You are not alone Many children develop a fear of being abandoned or left alone after losing a parent.  Grieving takes time to heal, but you’re not alone. Never think you are alone, whether you are the one going through the grieving process or who has lost a loved one. When it counts, you have the strength to get through this. There are wonderful organizations like AFSP that can aid in the healing process by supplying information that can help you understand what has happened, as well as support groups, therapists, hobbies, and activities that can help you recover. 3. Your feelings and emotional response are valid Children experience grief in various ways. Children’s responses to other types of death are frequently very different from how they feel after a suicide. If a parent commits suicide, children may feel humiliated and embarrassed. However, the most significant threat to a child’s emotional health is not allowing them the opportunity or encouragement to express these emotions and come to a reasonable understanding of what happened. Encourage the child to express their emotions. Some children find it easy to speak. Others can play and draw to express their emotions. Children’s feelings and emotions should be acknowledged and validated. For example, it’s OK to be angry, so say things like, “I see that you’re sad.” 4. Connect with friends and family members Talking with friends and family, whether about the deceased or nothing at all, can be comforting. You might ask friends and family members to talk about your parent’s favorite memories, loves, or admiration. If you’re not ready to discuss it with your parent, that’s OK. The routine and mundane may provide you comfort. You can feel more grounded or like yourself by doing something simple like going to the movies with a friend. 5. Find ways to honor your parents Try sharing, recording, or just remembering special memories of your parents. To help yourself and others remember and honor your parent, you can make a scrapbook, memory journal, blog, or memorial. You can try engaging in an activity, hobby, or interest in which your parent were very passionate. Additional ways to honor your parent include: Making their favorite meal Watching a beloved movie Trekking their favorite trail 6. Do activities that help you feel better Do activities that may help you during your grief process. Spend some time outlining a few activities you can do that you think may help you. Take a walk Make contact with an old friend Go to sleep Fill out a journal entry Clean your teeth Clean up a space Plan your day 7. Seek professional help Please think about getting help from a professional; it is highly advised. An excellent initial step could be to talk to a trusted friend or relative. A medical professional might also be able to assist. They can help you by recommending a mental health professional or offering information on local support groups and resources. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, think about bereavement counseling, support groups, or getting in touch with a mental health professional. Also Read: Best Leadership Blogs You Need To Read Take it seriously when a child talks about wanting to die According to a 2010 Johns Hopkins University study, children who lose a parent to suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves. Take a child’s words about wanting to die seriously and seek out professional help. Never assume a child does not mean it. Bottom line It’s never easy losing a parent; sometimes, it’s even worse losing a parent through suicide. But, you’re not alone, and grieving takes time to heal. Some people care

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

What Does Recognizing Your Grief Triggers Means?

Home Recognizing Your Grief Triggers – If you are grieving a loss, you might be curious about what it means to recognize your grief triggers and want to know why some seem to appear out of nowhere. Grief triggers can be explained as abrupt reminders of the loss of a loved one that causes emotional responses in you. Dealing with grief triggers might occur due to unanticipatedly running into circumstances that bring up memories of a deceased loved one. Recognizing your grief triggers is the half battle. You can more thoroughly explore your emotional experience as it relates to your loss if you are aware of your grief triggers. Table of Contents Grief triggers Grief triggers are those unplanned reminders that, in a split second, might sweep you up in a sea of sadness or perhaps bring you to your knees. You lose focus on what you are doing and experience discomfort. According to the Cope Foundation, anything that brings up memories of your loss can be a grief trigger. Anything that unexpectedly sends you spiraling back into your grief is a grief trigger. Usually accompanied by sudden, powerful feelings of distress, suffering, and grief. Even if you know that these days will be really difficult for you, your reaction could not become fully apparent until you go through such a triggering experience. Things might be your grief triggers Each person’s grief process is different. Even though no two people will experience loss in precisely the same way, many people share certain aspects of grieving. A professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and director for the Center for Complicated Grief, M. Katherine Shear, says “What activates grief is the awareness of the loss. It’s something that brings to mind the loss.” The fact that various events, locations, people, thoughts, and times will quite unexpectedly trigger a mourning episode is perhaps the characteristic shared by individuals who grieve. Some of the common grief triggers are: Milestones: Invitations to weddings or commencements frequently trigger emotional grief reactions. Even when you thought you had your grieving under control, these kinds of life milestones are among the most frequent moments when you’ll feel pain over your loss. Special events: When a loved one has passed away, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special days throughout the year can be extremely painful. These are ongoing reminders that will probably cause some degree of sadness for a while. Favorite song: No matter how many years have passed since your loved one’s passing, a certain song they dedicated to you may still cause you to experience some sense of pain. Sounds or smells: You can revert to grieving over your loss when you smell a certain aroma or hear youngsters playing. Some noises and smells can transport you back in time, such as your loved one’s trademark fragrance, a particular cigar brand, or distant youngsters laughing and playing. Recognizing your grief triggers is the first step to manage them Recognizing your grief triggers, what they activate within you, and how to cope in healthy ways are all necessary for identifying your grief triggers. When you don’t recognize your grief triggers, you could feel as though they come on suddenly, which might exacerbate whatever anxiety you may already be feeling linked to your sorrow. Thus, here are 7 ways you can do to help you recognizing your grief triggers and managing them: 1. Learn about grief Without having knowledge about grief, it’ll be harder for you to get through your grief. So, learning about it comes first. Reading literature about grief will teach you how to recognize when unanticipated grief strikes, what grief is, and how it affects you. You’ll move through your grief more quickly if you read more about the many forms of grief, typical responses to them, and how the grieving process works. In other words, understanding about grief helps you recognizing your own grief triggers. Soon you’ll be able to move on with your life in your new existence and recapture your joy and happiness. 2. Identify your grief triggers You might experience a range of emotions while grieving, including numbness, tremendous grief, and a semblance of self. This will all depend on the specific grief you have experienced. To better understand your current and potential triggers for experiencing grief: Check in with yourself periodically during the day, and start keeping a mood-tracking emotion journal. Be sure to record your location, the emotion, anybody activation, the intensity of the emotion on a scale, who you were with, and what you were doing in your emotion journal if you experience a more intense emotional experience throughout the day. Write down triggering individuals, circumstances, or events in your journal. Be kind to yourself and understand that it could take some time to recognize your triggers for grieving. 3. Accept your emotions Attempting to hide your emotions from yourself and others slows the grieving process. You’ll be able to comprehend when these emotions appear seemingly out of nowhere if you can accept your loss, your sentiments, and your emotions. All of it is a symptom of the grief response to loss. It will eventually come naturally to you to experience, accept, and let go of these waves of grief. Like the ebb and flow of ocean waves, you prepare yourself for the next one when it comes as expected. 4. Process the grief triggers It can seem contradictory to fully allow yourself to experience your emotional experience while grieving. Some people may feel the need to dull their feelings and disconnect from the reality of what happened since grieving can be unbearably painful. Be aware that this drive is completely normal and prevents you from feeling pain. However, doing so can make your pain last longer because your brain needs time to process traumatic events before consolidating and storing memories adequately. You may frequently feel triggered or exhibit signs of one or more mental health issues if the brain is unable to absorb and experience adequately. The following

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

Ever Felt The Fear Of Parents Dying? Here Are 10 Ways To Cope With It

Home The Fear of Parents Dying – Everyone must come to embrace the fact that death is an inescapable element of life. Death can be terrible anytime, and the dread of losing a parent is typical. People are afraid of losing a parent for a variety of reasons. Each person has varied reasons for this concern that are specific to them and their relationship. Concern about the death of loved ones is a commonplace and universal emotion. You may be able to conquer your fear if you have a clear grasp of why you feel that way. This article will tell you how to overcome a parent’s fear of dying. Table of Contents People with a healthy relationship with their parents People in deep, loving relationships with their parents experience distinct levels of fear if a parent passes away. Defining the specifics of your concerns can help you have a viewpoint when trying to get over them. 1. Physical suffering You may be apprehensive about how your parent would feel physically when they pass away because you have never met mortality. A study in 2007, found that the death of parents has a significant impact on adults’ psychological and physical well-being. Also, the impact of the parental death known to varies by gender. 2. Absence of unwritten history Your parents are well-versed in the background of your complete family and everything about you and your life. If none of this knowledge has been recorded in writing, you will lose it with your parents. 3. Broken ties One of the most vital relationships you will ever have is between parents and children. This link is gone and cannot be recreated when a parent passes away. 4. The harm suffered by your kids People mourn the opportunity their children will miss spending with a grandparent when they consider the death of a parent. 5. A sobering reminder of your mortality Your parents’ ageing and impending deaths may make you consider your own mortality. People with an unresolved conflict with their parents Some individuals have ongoing issues with their parents from an early age. It might be challenging to deal with the loss of a parent with who you don’t always get along. In comparison to someone with a good bond with the parents, an individual in this scenario might fear the loss of a parent for different purposes. 1. Unresolved issues  If you haven’t or can’t get rid of old problems before a parent passes away, you might have to deal with them forever. 2. Grief for an impossible  After a parent passes away, it is hard to wish for better moments spent with them. You might discover that you frequently contemplate impossibilities. 3. Taking decisive action You can feel unprepared to make decisions considering your parents’ burial and estate planning preferences. 4. Loss of family  A tight connection with your parent may result in problems with other family members. After your parent passes away, you might no more be connected to your other relatives. 5. Intensified self-awareness When a parent passes away, it may prompt you to reflect on your values and identity. You can achieve calm by understanding what causes your fear. It would be fantastic if you could attempt to resolve the issue. Or else, you can try to endure the situation. Ways to cope with the fear of parents dying 1. Don’t be so hard on yourself; fear of death is normal Knowing that fear of parents dying is expected is one of the main stages of overcoming it. Even for a short period, these rushing thoughts can temporarily eclipse their logical reasoning. If you feel this fear when considering life and death, try not to be too tough on yourself. Because you are programmed for surviving, you naturally think about your chances of surviving and have moderate anxiety about passing away. 2. Shift your focus to the beautiful memories instead of being stuck in the what-ifs When you give something more attention, you quickly become aware of all the shortcomings and potential problems. Too much attention on death excludes the potential for life. Concentrate on all the beautiful years your parents have experienced rather than worrying about when they may pass away. 3. You can’t control death, so live in the moment Learn to live more at the moment and to be able to let go of things that not in your control, such as death. Enjoy your time with your family when you can, pay them frequent visits, and strive to make them smile in manners that only you, as a kid, could. Since your parents are still around with you, give them the most excellent care possible. 4. Cherish each other’s company while you can, and spend quality time with your parents Keep a good attitude by enjoying life with your parents. While helping with errands and doctor visits is crucial, spending time together is just as significant. Make fun a goal by organizing regular mother-daughter outings or regular fun family nights. Walking back to childhood might also assist you in keeping your attention on the good. Don’t avoid conversations regarding the death Acceptance is the secret to overcoming the fact that your parents will eventually pass away. Even though it might be tough to comprehend, you and everyone you love will eventually pass away, including your parents. 5. Help your parents to take care of their health Invest some time in maintaining your parents’ wellness. Assuring your parents eat well and exercise regularly to maintain ageing physical and mental abilities are two aspects of taking care of their health. Along with this, you should also spend time on spiritual wellness. Talk frankly about life and death during this time. Discuss the positive and negative aspects of life, how they overcome obstacles, and any advice they may have for you. Have a direct discussion with them to let them know how you feel if you’re worried about losing them. They might also share your concerns about being

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

Feeling Stuck In Denial? Do These 4 Things To Overcome It

Home Stuck in Denial – If your loved one has recently passed away, you could find it challenging to understand and accept the grief. You could occasionally lose track of the person’s absence or the fact that they are no longer present in your life. Denial has these traits and is a typical phase of the grief process. Not only during the death of a loved one but also after losing other significant things, such as a career, a business, a friendship, or a relationship, you could feel the same sadness and might also be stuck in denial. This article analyzes the feeling of being stuck in denial as one of the five phases of grieving, examines its traits, and bids some potential coping mechanisms. Table of Contents Understanding denial Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychologist, was the first to present the idea of the phases of grieving. In her 1969 book “On Death and Dying,” Dr Kübler-Ross put forth the idea that there are five phases of grief that humans go through: Denial Anger Anger Depression Acceptance When you lose someone, especially if it happens suddenly, you could feel like everything is thrown up. Your everyday routine or even your personality may be impacted by the loss. For example, losing a relationship may change your daily schedule, your house, and even how you perceive yourself as a spouse or partner. Denial is a defensive reflex that lessens the hurt from the loss. Your brain is trying to shield you from the agony, giving you time to get used to your current situation. Denial usually occurs as your brain attempts to accept a loss right away. As you process the loss, you might also feel other emotions, including sorrow, rage, guilt, or anxiety. Reasons people experience denial When recognizing and communicating emotions, some individuals find it harder than others, mainly when the thoughts and feelings are distressing. Nevertheless, when emotions are repressed, people lose sight of the real motivations behind their attitudes, acts, and behaviours, and  Denial results in a response. To prevent the suffering that results from these bad feelings, a person may assert that they don’t experience them. Restricting emotions is not a positive approach to coping with any kind of trauma, both physical and emotional, losing a loved mate or fear of the future. Suppressing feelings can result in a condition of denial, which can later lead to more significant problems. Denial can be sparked by worry, anxiety, and uncertainty. Signs you are stuck in denial If a person is stuck in denial, they may avoid or dismiss their actions, resist accepting support or minimize the outcomes. For instance, someone who frequently skips work because of drug usage but believes their manager doesn’t observe or that they aren’t harming themselves. Denial can be classified. It may involve untrusting behaviours, such as shifting the subject, or a lack of self-awareness, such as failing to recognize how stuff has damaged you. For instance, even though you know they have recently experienced a traumatic occurrence, a loved one getting stuck in denial can claim to be trouble-free. Physical signs of someone struggling to acknowledge an incident or its consequences may also exist. For instance, a parent might continue to decorate her son’s room precisely as it was years after he passed away. It’s all right to be in denial for a short time Denial shouldn’t be excessively relied upon as a way of coping in daily life because it might be damaging in the long run. However, denial can be a helpful coping strategy to start the recovery process in the short term. A perfectly legitimate and typical human reaction to pain is denial. There is no reason to be guilty of it. Being stuck in denial, though, isn’t a sustainable approach to handling issues. The first step toward solving problems is simply admitting they exist. Before getting to this crucial stage, one must go through denial. Ways to overcome it It’s not easy to go through denial and get back up again after you lose someone you cherished. But, being stuck in denial will never bring you anywhere. So here are 4 things you can do to help yourself slowly feeling alive again. 1. Give your grief time The best method to get over grief is with time. Everyone experiences recovery at their own pace, and some people find it easier to deal with than others. Healing frequently happens gradually over time rather than entirely at once. 2. Begin to consider the future It can occasionally be challenging to envision what your life would be like after a tragedy. But as soon as you feel prepared, you can discover that you can resume thinking about the future. You might begin by making doable baby steps or objectives. 3. Keep a journal Although some people find a diary beneficial, you should be cautious not to utilize it in a manner that traps you in the past. 4. Seek professional help If you find it challenging to deal with grief, get a professional’s help. Grief is acceptable as long as it doesn’t lead to prolonged depression or behaviour that is harmful to your health. You can accept and embrace your loss with the assistance of grief counselling. Also Read: How to Earn Respect at Work? The takeaway? The grief of losing somebody you love cannot be forgotten. You will endure suffering for all of your life. But being stuck in denial isn’t an answer to your grief. As time passes, the agony of your grief will lessen, and you’ll gradually feel like you can live again. Taking steps to accept your loss will be necessary for you to manage your grief effectively. You’ll one day awaken to find that your mood has improved and you are no more submerged in grief. Manage Your Grief Starting Today With A FREE Discovery Call FREE DISCOVERY CALL

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

3 Key Main Differences Between Bereavement And Grief

Home Bereavement and Grief – Losing a loved one is never simple to accept or deal with. Even when death puts an end to suffering, the grief and sorrow might still be too much to bear. As the grieving process takes shape, these feelings of despair and melancholy may confuse. You can progress through this frequently complicated healing process by being aware of how grief functions, its stages, and the distinction between bereavement and grief. Bereavement and grief are not the same. Although they occasionally behave similarly or overlap, they are still two separate entities that require different approaches. The following article will help you learn their definitions and three critical differences between bereavement and grief, how bereavement is a state while grief is an emotion, the differences between their cycle and stages, and how grief is an emotional reaction during bereavement. Table of Contents What Is Bereavement? Bereavement is a time frame during which people experience grief and mourning. After losing a loved one, a person goes through a period of despair known as bereavement. Bereavement, grief, and mourning sometimes refer to the same thing. Despite having a lot in common, they all mean something different. It is simpler to start working through your grief if you comprehend how these elements fit together to define the grieving process. Examples of bereavement: Death-related loss may not always result in bereavement. Other significant losses in your life may cause you to experience bereavement at those other times. Any kind of loss can have a long-lasting impact on your emotional and psychological health. Examples of these include: Losing a spouse because of a divorce Your close friend is moving away and getting married Your pet running away Being dismissed from a job Your home catching fire You’ll probably feel the same grief as if you’d lost a loved one when you experience these other forms of loss. What Is Grief? Grief is defined as a normal response to loss. It is frequently experienced as an intense emotional reaction to loss that manifests as sadness or sorrow. Grief can strike you after any loss. Like bereavement, you will experience grief over more than just the loss of human life. When a loved one passes away or when he experiences other significant losses in their life, a person experiences grief. This normal reaction is known as anticipatory grief. The process involves a wide range of emotions, behaviors, and expressions, all of which aid in helping a person accept the death of a loved one. Grief can also be defined as the emotions that arise after loss, such as rage, jealousy, and indifference.  An incomplete or delayed response to our loss results in complicated grief. To properly handle complicated grief, counseling from a minister, grief counselor, family doctor, or mental health professional may be necessary. Examples of grief: Different people deal with grief in different ways. Everyone is affected differently by it. Your pain level will differ from others’ depending on factors including your experiences, emotional and psychological health, cultural beliefs, and connection to the deceased or attachment to the loss. Even if they have experienced the same kind of losses, no two people will grieve similarly. For example;  Death of a good friend Loss of a spouse Death of a classmate or coworker Serious illness of a loved one Relationship breakup Loss of a family member 3 Key Differences Between Bereavement And Grief Usually, people believe that bereavement and grief are the same things. It might be challenging to differentiate between someone suffering from bereavement and someone grieving when you don’t completely grasp what the phrases signify. Here are the 3 key differences between them. 1.  Bereavement is a state while grief is an emotion One of the most significant differences between bereavement and grief is that bereavement is a state while grief is an emotion. The term “bereavement” refers to the state of the feeling of having lost a loved one. It most frequently refers to the period immediately following a loss, when emotions are the strongest. A person who has recently learned that a loved one has passed away will experience grief over the loss. They can lose control of their sobbing, strike out in a fury, or be in shock after learning the news. All of them are examples of emotional reactions to such loss. These responses are tied to grief. An individual may experience grief for several weeks or years. They might not be able to perform their job duties and request a brief period of bereavement leave. Their pain does not end after their bereavement leave ends, and they go back to work. It simply implies that they have used up all of the paid time off that their employer was required to provide. When the initial stage of pain and grieving is over, bereavement is over. The bereavement state will eventually come to an end as the person’s emotional state changes. 2. Cycles vs stages Because bereavement and grief are intertwined, it can be challenging to distinguish between bereavement and grief. The best approach is to recognize that bereavement occurs in cycles of time. A bereaved person will go through those stages as they deal with their loss, but they will also go through mood, emotion, and feeling changes as part of the bereavement cycle. A person experiencing grief will go through many emotional stages as they figure out how to deal with their loss. A person who is grieving is supposed to go through five specific stages of grief that is also known by The Kübler Ross’ 5 Stages of Grief.  Denial and isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There is no set sequence that everyone follows, and not everyone goes through each stage. The stages of grief can all be said to lead to a healthy resolution of sadness, nevertheless. 3. Grief is an emotional reaction during bereavement Understanding the distinction between bereavement and grief can be a bit challenging at this point. When viewed from a

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

10 Books About Grief And Loss To Help You Cope With It

Books about Grief and Loss – Grief has no set course, and handling loss is not simple. Because of this, many books and autobiographies discuss the grief process and provide advice for people in need of consolation or support. Here are ten unique Books to check out if you or somebody you know is grieving a loss. They may provide some comfort, hope, or encouragement. We sincerely hope that a couple of these books might give you some consolation and courage, no matter what you’re dealing with. 10 BOOKS ABOUT GRIEF AND LOSS YOU MUST READ 1.  IT’S OK THAT YOU’RE NOT OK: MEETING GRIEF AND LOSS IN A CULTURE THAT DOESN’T UNDERSTAND, BY MEGAN DEVINE It can be very perplexing to come up with ways to understand and help a loved one going through a painful loss. Megan Devine presents a new perspective on the grieving process and how we assist those who have experienced loss in “It’s OK That You’re Not OK.” In this helpful and concise book, she wants to reassure readers that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by grief and that they shouldn’t be fearful of it. Despite what society may sometimes suggest, grieving is a natural element of life. Devine leverages her training as a psychotherapist and personal experience as a person who has lost a partner to support people in positively connecting with their grief and learning how to move forward after loss. 2.  A GRIEF OBSERVED, BY C.S. LEWIS Author C.S. Lewis penned A Grief Observed as a way of coping and maintaining himself after his wife, Joy Gresham, died of cancer. His honest portrayal of grief, so intense that it led a man of unwavering faith to doubt the universe, is found in “A Grief Observed” and served as the basis for the film Shadowlands. Lewis delves into his struggles dealing with this challenging time in his life and a new finding of a lost self in an extraordinarily genuine reflection on feeling and the agony that accompanies loss. This description of the grief of missing a partner is still strong after 60 years. 3.  THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING, BY JOAN DIDION In 2003, one of the USA’s most famous authors, Joan Didion, had two tragic events: one, her daughter went into a coma; later, a few days after, her husband had a deadly cardiac arrest. The chapters of this book on grieving take place a year following Joan’s husband passed away unexpectedly, as she struggles to make sense of her “Magical Thinking” and what has indeed occurred. This best-selling book examines marriage and life, both in its excellent and terrible, and it will resonate with anybody who truly loves a spouse, partner or child. 4.  I WASN’T READY TO SAY GOODBYE: SURVIVING, COPING AND HEALING AFTER THE SUDDEN DEATH OF A LOVED ONE, BY BROOK NOEL & PAMELA BLAIR, PHD. The book by Noel and Pamela Blair, PhD, offers a foundation for individuals trying to heal and continue their lives after losing a dear person suddenly. It explores unexpected grief and the disastrous impact it can cause. The writers of this book discuss unusual conditions of loss, like suicide and murder, and also different grieving processes, as well as misconceptions and myths regarding grief. These authors, who have dealt with abrupt grief personally, dispel widespread misconceptions about it and provide guidance on handling the challenging circumstances that follow a loss and recognizing and accepting your suffering. 5.  ON GRIEF AND GRIEVING: FINDING THE MEANING OF GRIEF THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF LOSS, BY ELISABETH KUBLER ROSS AND DAVID KESSLER “On Death and Dying”, written by renowned psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, sparked a widespread debate over the five phases of grief. Before her passing in 2004, she co-wrote the book On Grief and Giving with David Kessler, which explores how the grieving process assists people in dealing with grief and incorporates the author’s personal stories, advice, and case studies. This book is based on the grieving process and the blessings that can be discovered rather than on death. It examines how the now-famous five stages of grieving manifest themselves in our daily lives. The writers provide readers experiencing these feelings with guidance and comfort while emphasizing everything with a word of kindness. 6.  IN LOVE: A MEMOIR OF LOVE AND LOSS, BY AMY BLOOM Amy Bloom’s stunning and memorable memoir details the intimate time and difficult choices that followed her husband, Brian’s revelation of Alzheimer’s disease and his determination to seek the assistance of Dignitas. This group aids in peaceful and dignified death. As the family deals with the tragedy of Brian’s illness and impending death, the book paints an enthralling picture of passion, love, and loss. 7.  THE OTHER SIDE OF SADNESS: WHAT THE NEW SCIENCE OF BEREAVEMENT TELLS US ABOUT LIFE AFTER LOSS, BY GEORGE BONANNO George Bonanno, a clinical psychology researcher at Columbia University, has written a book titled “The Other Side of Sadness” for those looking for a more scientific perspective on grief. The five phases of grief discussed are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. We are frequently encouraged to tolerate and bear because this is how grief functions. The author makes the case that understanding how other feelings, such as joy and relief, can assist people in managing their grief by drawing on research on bereavement throughout history. They might even encourage people to develop closer relationships with people around them. 8.  THE ORPHANED ADULT: UNDERSTANDING AND COPING WITH GRIEF AND CHANGE AFTER THE DEATH OF OUR PARENTS, BY ALEXANDER LEVY This is a powerful book for understanding and managing the grief and other feelings accompanying the passing of one or even both mom and dad. Although losing your father or mother as a grownup kid is expected, it can be incredibly distressing if it happens unexpectedly or after a protracted disease. In addition to showing how fragile our own life is, it might occasionally bring back childlike grief and a subtle shift in the

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

How To Deal With Parents’ Divorce In Your 20s

Home How to Deal with Parents Divorce – Divorce is not easy at any stage but dealing with your parents divorcing as a teenager makes life more complicated. You realize that life will be different from now on, and you’ll have to confront a range of new emotions and deal with conflicts between your parents. Several studies, including the one carried out by Ross & Miller in 2009, found that parents divorce can negatively impacts their child’s life regardless their age. And in young adults, this might affect them when they are starting a serious relationship that leads to marriage. If you’re trying to figure out your own life at school, with friends, or in a relationship, while now coping with your parents divorcing, such a situation at your home may only add more stress to your life. But how can you make this transition smoother? Table of Contents 8 ways to deal with parents divorce Luckily, there are some ways to deal with your parents divorce and work through the emotions to move forward. In this article, we’ll explore the ways to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. If you’re dealing with your parents divorce, this guide will help you get through this difficult time and find the silver lining to deal with it. Let’s take a look at these eight important ways. 1. Please don’t blame yourself, it was never your fault When you have to deal with parents divorce, it can be normal to consider it your fault and blame yourself. But, it’s not right. Thinking this way is self-destructive. Blaming yourself won’t help you process at all and move forward. Parents get divorced due to issues between the two: you did not ask for their relationship to end. Therefore, keep in mind that the things you have done did not cause their separation and did not initiate their conflicts. 2. Your feelings are valid, don’t suppress them During your parents’ divorcing period, you might feel various emotions. You may feel angry, sad, or even relieved. The best way to deal with it is to allow yourself to feel your emotions because it’s totally fine to feel them. Don’t keep them bottled up inside. Validating your feelings and experiencing them is essential to your mental health. 3. Be open to your parents If you’re close to your parents and want to keep a healthy relationship with them after their separation, talk to your parents about the situation. Do have an honest & open conversation with them and let them know your feelings and how their divorce is affecting you. You should not be afraid or confused to tell your parents how you feel about splitting. They’ll find a way to make it easier for you. Also, it will help facilitate well-being and empathy for everyone. 4. Set boundaries, you’re not your parents’ messenger nor therapist Adult children of divorcing parents find themselves in the middle of conflicts, but this is not good. Set clear boundaries and don’t take any sides to make it clear that you don’t want to be a back-and-forth messenger. Moreover, your parents may want to tell you their feelings of anger and stories that can be complicated for you. So, you need to explain that you’re not their therapist, and they should unload their feelings to their friends. Setting clear boundaries will tend to be best for your mental health. 5. Reach out to your support system Another significant way to deal with your parents divorce in your 20s is to surround yourself with the people who will be there for you in this difficult transition. Reach out to your support system to protect your mental health. They can be your close friends, family members, or family therapist. Tell them how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Their support can be a healthy way to deal with your emotions during your parents’ divorce. 6. Prepare to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle Your parents divorce will bring changes to your life and family. Therefore, it’s important to accept that changes are coming & they’re permanent. The next step is to prepare for the changes. Start thinking and planning how to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle and how to handle future events flawlessly. 7. Find new ways to deal with stress You’ve never felt as much stress as you felt during your parents divorce. You need to figure out the ways to deal with stress for the sake of your mental & physical health. Find the activities and hobbies that bring you joy to deal with parents divorce. There are a lot of stress management hobbies and activities, including: Journaling Hiking Meditation Hanging out with friends who lift you up Doing puzzles Cooking Playing sports You can adopt any of these stress management techniques to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. 8. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor Lastly, if you are still trying to figure out how to deal with your parents divorce, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. There is no need to deal with your emotions by yourself. Reach out to a therapist & counselor to help you ease your stress & sadness. You can talk with them about your emotions and triggers. It is a huge help that will give you relief and help you makes sense of your parents divorce. Also Read: The Grief Recovery Method Wrapping up There you have it- end of the topic: how to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. It’s really hard to deal with the emotions during dealing with the emotional fallout of your parents’ divorcing. But, things are horrible in the beginning & get better with time, and you’ll see things in a different light. You will realize that divorce is healthier than staying in the worst relationship if your parents don’t love each other. Looking for an online therapist or counselor to help you deal with such a situation? Feel free to reach out to me

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Grief and Loss
Vivien Roggero - Elite Transformation and Executive Coach

What Is The Grief Recovery Method?

Home The Grief Recovery Method – We are all touched by the strong impacts of grief at some point in our life. The grief recovery method is a wonderful evidence-based program that helps people process emotional pain caused by loss. It is a step-by-step action plan that allows the grievers to work through grief, isolation, and loneliness on an individual basis. However, grief is often misunderstood, and the myths about grief make the affected person feel desperate & hopeless and push them towards depression. In this blog post, you’ll understand grief deeply, and learn about 6 common myths about grief and the things you should do to help someone before and during the grieving process. Table of Contents Definition of grief Grief is the strong natural reaction to a significant loss of any kind. It is the conflicting feelings caused by the death of a loved one or the loss of a relationship. Grief is a natural emotion that causes pain that can last a lifetime. Other examples of loss include loss of job, financial and health issues, loss of independence due to a disability, unmet dreams & expectations, and end of addictions. “Time will heal the wounds,” they said. But does it really heal the wounds? This old proverb is not true and gives false illusions to grievers that things will eventually get better. Some people waited many years for their pain to disappear, but these years were still not enough to heal their wounds. Time alone does not heal the wound; what you do with that time helps you work through it and heals the deep pain. Therefore, you need to take specific actions during the healing team, which pushes you toward recovery. What is the grief recovery method? The grief recovery method is a step-by-step, action-oriented program that has been refined over the last 40 years. This is the only evidence-based program to help grievers worldwide recover from the pain and isolation caused by any loss. The Grief Recovery Method is guided by the actions presented in The Grief Recovery Handbook. The book was written by John James and Russell Friedman. The actions of the Grief Recovery Method provide the parameters that begin your healing and let you move forward in a healthy and meaningful way. You can sign up for the Grief Recovery Method program both online and offline. By learning the Grief Recovery Method once from a grief recovery specialist, you can apply this Grief Recovery Method throughout a lifetime of loss. 6 myths of grief Here are the 6 most common myths of grief in our society. Learn about them and focus on the facts. 1. Time will heal Time itself does not heal the wounds. What’s important is the particular steps you take within that time, and these steps help you walk through the pain. 2. Don’t feel bad about it Feeling bad is a natural response to loss. Therefore, saying this to the griever is not helpful. Instead, feeling bad about the loss gives permission to feel the emotions without burying or covering them, which can lead to depression. 3. Grieve alone Many grievers tend to isolate themselves based on the idea that talking about their loss burdens others and worsens pain. As we share our good news with our loved ones, it’s also wise to share bad news or cause of grief with someone. Communicating with others about your emotions will loosen the grip of pain and is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself in this emotional loss. 4. Be strong for other people During the grieving process, we tend to hide our painful emotions to show that it’ll give strength to others. The fact is that you should be honest with your feelings. If you express your true feelings to others, they’ll do the same, and it’ll help you. 5. Just keep busy Grief is not something that will go away by distracting ourselves in activities and keeping busy. By doing so, it will become a cause of physical and emotional exhaustion. Therefore, it is good to go through the pain to heal from the loss and move beyond it. 6. Replace the loss Relationships with our loved ones are irreplaceable. It is impossible to replace the loss by making new friends, getting into a new relationship, or having more children. You’ll not truly heal unless you give yourself space to grieve completely about the loss. Things you should do to someone who’s grieving Here are the things you should do to help someone cope with grief. These practical things can be an absolute comfort to those affected by a loss. Ask them, “What happened?” and don’t just act like nothing happened Communicate with them and ask them what happened & express your concern. Grievers feel alone because other people avoid them, and it can lead them to depression or anxiety. Listen to their story with your heart, not only your head Sometimes, people work through grief by telling their story again and again. So, listen to their story with kindness instead of advising or judging. Say “I can’t imagine how you feel” instead of “I know how you feel” Accept their feelings and let them know it’s okay to express the feelings in front of you. Every person is unique, and you can not understand the intensity of their loss. Therefore, be genuine in your communication, and it won’t offend the griever. Be empathetic and stop telling them that they shouldn’t be feeling that way An empathetic ear is a wonderful thing. Don’t try to say it’s time to move on or that they should not be feeling that way. Understand them and let them heal at the pace that feels right in their manner. Also Read: A Guide to NLP Techniques The bottom line Grief is a normal emotion caused by any loss; recovery from that loss is necessary to move forward and lighten up your life. The grief recovery method is an effective program

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