Stand up for yourself may be extremely difficult for some people, particularly those who experience anxiety. You want to prove a point without becoming aggressive. You want to be taken seriously, but you’re worried that asserting yourself will cast you in the wrong light.
But you may take control of your life, develop self-confidence, and become more courageous to pursue your dreams by learning to stand out for yourself. Your sense of self-worth will increase if you realize that you deserve respect. It won’t happen overnight, but acting is the best way to foster this sense of self-respect.
However, only some people are assertive. Learning why and how to stand up for yourself may take time and effort. Fortunately, we all have numerous opportunities to improve. With these 12 simple yet effective steps, you can learn how to stand up for yourself. Let’s get started!
Why You Should Stand Up For Yourself
Understanding why you feel in a certain way is the first step in learning to stand up for yourself. Whether you’re naturally more extroverted or introverted, asserting and expressing yourself should be relatively instinctive. When it’s not, and when something feels difficult, it’s typically rooted in the past.
Maybe you had strict parents that forbid you from standing up for yourself as a child. Your parents ruled the roost. You were shut down when you expressed your desires or feelings; you were punished, ignored, or abandoned. You eventually learned to minimize your needs and completely repress yourself.
However, you may be in similar relationships today. Maybe it’s a micromanaging coworker, a controlling spouse, or a draining friend.
We all experience difficulties, and it’s part of life. By reading this blog, you can overcome your challenges and learn how to create enduring habits that help you achieve your goals. Standing up for yourself is a crucial component of that process.
12 Ways On How To Stand Up For Yourself
Here are 12 effective ways to learn how to stand up for yourself:
1. Figure out why you find standing up for yourself so difficult
Identify the reason why you find standing up for yourself is so hard. Try to remember with clarity any childhood events that may have caused you to undermine your own needs and feelings. Understanding why you behave in a certain way will give you the power to change that behavior.
2. Take small but powerful steps.
If you’re struggling with assertiveness, start taking small but powerful steps to stand up for yourself. You can appear more confident by simply learning to walk with your head held high and your shoulders back. Use that confidence when interacting with others.
Also, you can use this mindset in every aspect of your life. Feeling irritated at the Starbucks customer who cut you off? Ask them to take a seat in the back politely. Even though you might already be taking these small steps, you can now see them as examples of assertiveness.
Also Read: 7 Morning Rituals For A Successful Day
3. Be deliberate in your words.
Sharing a space with a slobby roommate or a messy coworker is a situation that many of us have encountered. Maybe you remained silent while getting more indignant about the situation. Engaging in passive-aggressive actions, such as snide remarks or irately cleaning up the mess, maybe alluring. Instead, try being deliberate.
Without making accusations, express your feelings to the other person. Make a simple correctional suggestion in response, like “If you could take a moment to clean up your place at night, it would be greatly appreciated.”
4. Be Authentic and Transparent
Practice being open and honest with your thoughts, opinions, and feelings. You’ll feel lighter and happier when you are honest with yourself and others. Putting on a fake smile and acting as though nothing bothers you will make you feel better in the short term, but it will eventually cause stress and resentment.
Transparency is a way of respecting others that allows you to communicate without expecting them to read your mind. When you make it a habit of expressing your ideas openly and without being defensive, people will be more receptive to listening to you.
5. Learn to Say “No”
It might be difficult to break this habit if you’re accustomed to saying yes, accepting every invitation, and working nonstop to keep everyone happy. But if you choose to, it is a place where you can find more balance.
Saying no can be helpful if you’re uncomfortable or don’t want to complete a task. Once you become comfortable with the word, it should spread throughout the rest of your life and make it simpler for you to stand up for yourself.
6. Be a Little Selfish
Everyone has some naturally selfish instincts. That might be the origin of your conflicts. Perhaps your coworker is taking up the entire desk. We’ve all been in a situation like this. There is nothing wrong with speaking out about it, though. Just like they do, you need that room.
Consider that most people around you are already prioritizing themselves, so you must start doing the same. If you keep putting others’ needs ahead of your own, you will always be seen as a walk-over and end up feeling frustrated. Nobody else will prioritize you, so you must do so.
7. Set Boundaries
It’s great to devote your time and effort to others, but try to stay on the rails. If you do, people expect you to consent to their demands. Consider your relationships and where there may be an imbalance.
You’ll be able to stand up for yourself once you start identifying the situations in which you prioritize the needs of others over your own. When the time is right, start setting boundaries with this person to change your relationship’s dynamic.
8. Take your time with your response.
When people speak, you are not obligated to respond immediately to what they have to say. If you can, pause for a moment to consider the kind of situation you are in and how you are feeling.
Consider how your current insecurities may be affecting you. You can specify how and when you’ll handle particular circumstances. It doesn’t have to happen instantly; it can happen whenever you’re prepared.
9. Pay attention to your Body language.
It can be helpful to pay attention to your body language if you are struggling with standing up yourself. Focus on your body language to boost your confidence and make sure you’re communicating with others clearly.
This means having open body language, such as standing with your hands at your sides rather than slouching to appear more assertive. Maintain eye contact, stand straight, and speak confidently and calmly.
10. Learn that no one can invalidate you
You have complete control over your emotions and actions. Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and ideas are yours; no one else can tell you what you believe or invalidate your opinions. Similarly, attempting to invalidate the perspectives of others undermines any chance of problem-solving or open discussion.
11. Practice when you can
It might take a few attempts before you feel confident in your ability to stand up for yourself. Consider it as assertiveness training. The more times you practice, the simpler it will be for you to handle challenging circumstances. You will develop a rhythm for speaking in public with confidence through repetition and practice. If you have a slight difference of opinion with anyone, practice expressing it.
12. Know when to leave.
Lastly, think about whether you might be trapped in any unhealthy relationships; if so, you need to find a more healthy balance. As you develop assertiveness, you hope these relationships will naturally move in a healthier direction.
If they don’t, you should start looking for a therapist or consider leaving. People who care about you will want you to stand up for yourself. If they don’t, you should surround yourself with those who do.
Also Read: Why You Should Surround Yourself With Positive People
Your needs and demands are equally important as everyone else. These needs and demands may not have been recognized as such when you were younger, but you have the power to prioritize them now. You’ll notice that things turn out in your favor as you fight your corner.
These 12 ways will help you understand how to stand up for yourself. As a Life Coach, I guide people in realizing their full potential, so feel free to reach out to me if you’re prepared to begin developing your assertiveness.
I coach people who desire to live a life of freedom and joy. As a fully accredited Life & Transformation Coach with hours experience coaching and mentoring freedom seekers and executives from all over the world, I thrive on helping people rebuild their life based on a freedom and joy mindset and create a positive impact in the world.