How to Deal with Parents Divorce – Divorce is not easy at any stage but dealing with your parents divorcing as a teenager makes life more complicated. You realize that life will be different from now on, and you’ll have to confront a range of new emotions and deal with conflicts between your parents.
Several studies, including the one carried out by Ross & Miller in 2009, found that parents divorce can negatively impacts their child’s life regardless their age. And in young adults, this might affect them when they are starting a serious relationship that leads to marriage.
If you’re trying to figure out your own life at school, with friends, or in a relationship, while now coping with your parents divorcing, such a situation at your home may only add more stress to your life. But how can you make this transition smoother?
8 ways to deal with parents divorce
Luckily, there are some ways to deal with your parents divorce and work through the emotions to move forward. In this article, we’ll explore the ways to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. If you’re dealing with your parents divorce, this guide will help you get through this difficult time and find the silver lining to deal with it. Let’s take a look at these eight important ways.
1. Please don’t blame yourself, it was never your fault
When you have to deal with parents divorce, it can be normal to consider it your fault and blame yourself. But, it’s not right. Thinking this way is self-destructive. Blaming yourself won’t help you process at all and move forward.
Parents get divorced due to issues between the two: you did not ask for their relationship to end. Therefore, keep in mind that the things you have done did not cause their separation and did not initiate their conflicts.
2. Your feelings are valid, don’t suppress them
During your parents’ divorcing period, you might feel various emotions. You may feel angry, sad, or even relieved. The best way to deal with it is to allow yourself to feel your emotions because it’s totally fine to feel them. Don’t keep them bottled up inside. Validating your feelings and experiencing them is essential to your mental health.
3. Be open to your parents
If you’re close to your parents and want to keep a healthy relationship with them after their separation, talk to your parents about the situation. Do have an honest & open conversation with them and let them know your feelings and how their divorce is affecting you. You should not be afraid or confused to tell your parents how you feel about splitting. They’ll find a way to make it easier for you. Also, it will help facilitate well-being and empathy for everyone.
4. Set boundaries, you’re not your parents’ messenger nor therapist
Adult children of divorcing parents find themselves in the middle of conflicts, but this is not good. Set clear boundaries and don’t take any sides to make it clear that you don’t want to be a back-and-forth messenger.
Moreover, your parents may want to tell you their feelings of anger and stories that can be complicated for you. So, you need to explain that you’re not their therapist, and they should unload their feelings to their friends. Setting clear boundaries will tend to be best for your mental health.
5. Reach out to your support system
Another significant way to deal with your parents divorce in your 20s is to surround yourself with the people who will be there for you in this difficult transition. Reach out to your support system to protect your mental health. They can be your close friends, family members, or family therapist. Tell them how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Their support can be a healthy way to deal with your emotions during your parents’ divorce.
6. Prepare to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle
Your parents divorce will bring changes to your life and family. Therefore, it’s important to accept that changes are coming & they’re permanent. The next step is to prepare for the changes. Start thinking and planning how to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle and how to handle future events flawlessly.
7. Find new ways to deal with stress
You’ve never felt as much stress as you felt during your parents divorce. You need to figure out the ways to deal with stress for the sake of your mental & physical health. Find the activities and hobbies that bring you joy to deal with parents divorce. There are a lot of stress management hobbies and activities, including:
- Hanging out with friends who lift you up
- Doing puzzles
- Playing sports
You can adopt any of these stress management techniques to deal with parents divorce in your 20s.
8. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor
Lastly, if you are still trying to figure out how to deal with your parents divorce, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. There is no need to deal with your emotions by yourself. Reach out to a therapist & counselor to help you ease your stress & sadness. You can talk with them about your emotions and triggers. It is a huge help that will give you relief and help you makes sense of your parents divorce.
Also Read: The Grief Recovery Method
There you have it- end of the topic: how to deal with parents divorce in your 20s. It’s really hard to deal with the emotions during dealing with the emotional fallout of your parents’ divorcing. But, things are horrible in the beginning & get better with time, and you’ll see things in a different light. You will realize that divorce is healthier than staying in the worst relationship if your parents don’t love each other.
Looking for an online therapist or counselor to help you deal with such a situation? Feel free to reach out to me with your thoughts & queries. Schedule a free discovery call with me. As a divorce coach and therapist, I’d love to help you in this tough period and provide you with helpful tips for managing your emotions.