The best relationships are those that you have with your grandparents. It’s never easy to lose someone so special, but it’s even worse if it’s your first time experiencing death. Grandparent death is often the first time a person experiences grief, which may be a perplexing and stressful time.
In this article, we will discuss dealing with the loss of a grandparent.
It might be your first time experiencing losing your loved one
The death of a grandparent is frequently the first time person is connected to them feels. You can anticipate experiencing a range of complex emotions that occasionally seem overbearing. Although each person’s experience of grief is subtly different and particular to them, grieving grandchildren often share the following thoughts and feelings:
- You may experience emotional numbness or cry-proofing:
- Particularly if this is your first tragedy, you may notice that you reflect more on life and death. You can start to worry about the security of individuals close to you.
- You could feel like the “silent griever,” as if your loved ones are unaware of how much you are suffering. People might focus more on helping your parents or other grandparent and fail to recognize that you also need assistance.
For some, grandparents felt more like a parent
Many grandparents play an important part in a kid’s development by offering childcare for busy parents and spending time with their grandchildren frequently. Others are in charge of raising their grandchildren as the primary caregiver. Since grandparents often have a different viewpoint of the world than parents, many kids and teenagers may feel a strong bond. They may be confounded by the end of this personal connection. It goes without saying that the stronger the bond, the more intensely the grief will be felt, and for many adolescents and children today, it might seem like a parent has died.
You may wish to spend more time with them
Regret about not enjoying more time with your grandparents before they leave is a normal emotion. You may enquire about their life to find out more regarding them, or you could think back on the pleasant times you did have with them.
Losing a grandparent as a child
Children may find it difficult to communicate their feelings and exhibit emotion if they don’t have certain life events early on, such as losing a loved one. When this occurs, the youngster is more likely to express their loss’s impact through several behavioral adjustments.
If they spend more time at school or like to go out with their buddies, you could start to feel like they are avoiding you. They keep their distance to avoid getting hurt once more. Other kids start to cling to you more tightly to ensure you won’t pass away and abandon them.
Some youngsters may display anger due to the helplessness they frequently feel after losing a loved one. It can also be a mark that your child is grieving the loss of a grandparent if they suddenly experience anxiety about the dark, have difficulties sleeping, or have trouble in school, especially if these behaviors are out of the pattern.
Losing a grandparent as an adult
Being an adult when a grandparent passes away doesn’t make it any less difficult. It still shocks you, and you have to give it a little more time to sink in. The loss would likely be excruciatingly painful if you were extremely close to them and relied on them to provide psychological, social, or other assistance. It may even result in losing a support system, a social identity, and other incidental losses.
Be mindful that occasionally individuals misjudge situations based on their own past and fail to understand the gravity of your loss. Others will see your sorrow and attempt to console you, but occasionally they might approach you improperly or use the wrong language. That could be just as terrible in these circumstances as someone not understanding your grief.
Coming to terms with the loss of a grandparent
1. Share the grieving; your other family members are grieving too
Talking about the loss with your other family and friends is one of the greatest things you can do to acknowledge your emotions. You should be around for your parents because they might need your care. You should support your other grandparent, if they are still alive, during this trying period. You shouldn’t feel under constant pressure to be tough; you can both express your own sentiments while helping your family members.
2. Alcohol and drugs are not the answer
Avoid using alcohol and drugs as comforting techniques. Alcohol can act as a depressive that impairs the functioning of the brain and central nervous system, making it more difficult to efficiently process and comprehend emotions.
3. Take care of yourself and get enough rest
You should not neglect your own needs as you cope with the loss of your grandparent, which is crucial to remember. Make doubly sure you get enough sleep—without staying in bed all day—eat three nutritious meals daily, and take the opportunity to interact and spend time outside. It may be important to take care of other family members, but you shouldn’t fully neglect your health in the meantime. Even though you’ll still feel uneasy, maintaining a healthy routine might help.
4. Have a productive daily routines
If you feel stuck, one way you can do it is to change things up a little. You could find it more difficult to move on if you carry on with the same routine you had when your granddad or granny was living than if you made some changes. You can begin a new activity, devote more time to your family and relatives, or find a passion for reading or volunteering that you never knew.
While you should resist making significant life decisions or extreme changes when you are grieving, little adjustments from time to time may give you the impression that you are settling into a new, upbeat routine.
5. Remember them through mementos
Examine the presents, souvenirs, clothes, books, jewelry, and other priceless keepsakes that your grandparent gifted you. Use it for some time if it is a garment you can wear. If not, make sure it’s visible. Don’t think that to “get beyond” your grandparent’s death, you need to dispose of these things or hide them from view. You can cherish them and respect the loved one’s memories.
6. Talk to the professionals
After several months and you still have the same feelings about the tragic news as you initially received it, you probably have to seek additional support. If nothing is helping, you can visit a grief counselor, participate in group psychotherapy, or speak with a doctor. It’s okay to acknowledge that you need additional support to get through this trying period, and doing everything you can to move on will only benefit you.
Just because your grandparents were aged and had led a longer life doesn’t make your grieving any less legitimate or insignificant, keep in mind. Everybody grieving needs help, whether from a friend, relative, or carer support specialist.
I coach people who desire to live a life of freedom and joy. As a fully accredited Life & Transformation Coach with hours experience coaching and mentoring freedom seekers and executives from all over the world, I thrive on helping people rebuild their life based on a freedom and joy mindset and create a positive impact in the world.